


keep your vigil through the night

by pharmakon



Series: Steven Universe [11]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Daemon Touching, Drabble, Gen, Spoilers for Episode: s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, silly idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2019-10-14 15:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17511392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pharmakon/pseuds/pharmakon
Summary: Connie met her daemon's eyes and thought,he's almost taller than me.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shortest thing I've ever posted here!

Connie met her daemon's eyes and thought,  _he's almost taller than me._ With his antlers he definitely was. "I think I've figured out what you are," she told Bodhi. 

Her daemon pawed the ground with an uncertain hoof-- even-toed, according to Wikipedia-- and said, "Something obscure? I don't feel like just a _deer_."

"Nobody's just anything," Rebecca piped up from the couch. Steven was half-dozing, covered in potato crumbs and crashing hard after his psychic communion with the Diamonds. His daemon, still unsettled, was copying the form of Garnet's kitten and sitting loaf-shaped on his chest. She looked half-asleep already. "Even if you were just a deer, you'd still be a mule deer or something, right? So you'd still be special." She stood and arched her back in a luxurious stretch. "Plus you'd still be  _Bodhi."_

"Thanks," Connie said sincerely. Bodhi stepped up closer to her and nudged her face with his nose, narrowly avoiding her eyes with his antlers. One of the Gems-- she thought it might have been Amethyst, using a twig or something so she wouldn't touch directly-- had managed to hang a Christmas ornament on his antler. It glimmered.

Gems didn't have daemons, so they didn't feel like people when they touched other peoples' souls, but it was still weird having them be so cavalier with them. Rebecca climbed Garnet's shoulders and roughhoused with Amethyst, rubbed along Pearl's legs and took a monkey shape to hand Peridot tools. She made herself a bird to fly with Lapis and a dragonfly to poke at Lars's ruffled gray parrot. She touched the Gems like it was nothing, since to her and Steven it  _wasn't._ Steven had told Connie once that they'd had to be trained out of letting strange humans get too close when they were little. 

"So what am I?" Bodhi asked. Rebecca shook herself all over and became a hummingbird, moving over and landing prim and proper on one of Bodhi's antlers. 

"You're a sambar deer," Connie told him, and a faint thrill went through her at the words. Herself _,_ she was talking about  _herself--_ "They live in India, and it says even the females will fight to protect their young even though that's unusual in deer species."

"It means you're brave," Rebecca said softly, pecking at the ornament. 

"He's a prey animal, though," Connie said with a faint frown. "Not that this isn't an awesome form, but--"

She'd been hoping, somewhere in the back of her mind, for something like a tiger or a lion, something strong and brave and true. Something  _legendary,_ to mark her out among all the heroes she fought alongside. She hadn't ever thought she'd get a deer. Her mother had a great big hawk, and her father had a dog, and those fit them so perfectly that Connie didn't even have to question how her parents' daemons had chosen their forms. But she had a lot of questions about hers.

Connie's hand was resting at the edge of the couch, right beside Steven's foot; before she could move, Rebecca was next to it, a hair's breadth away from touching. Connie's breath stilled in her throat. When they'd been Stevonnie, she'd touched her then, but that had been Steven, really, and it hadn't been the same--

"Predators act like cats and stuff, right?" Rebecca asked. "Like Gem monsters, sometimes. They go after things weaker than themselves. They want the easy prey, so they don't risk getting hurt."

"Rebecca..." Connie couldn't touch her. That was intimate, that was trusting, and Steven was her friend but she wasn't-- she couldn't _have_ that responsibility--

"You said it yourself that even the females fight for their young, every time," the daemon continued, beady eyes staring into Connie's own. "They fight for their family, because they have to, even when they're probably gonna lose. _Especially_ then. Of course you're brave."

Oh.

Connie didn't know what to say. Bodhi snuffled, leaning his head down to sniff at Rebecca's feathers, then said for her: "You're much more eloquent than Steven usually is," low and warm like he was sharing a secret. Rebecca turned back into a cat and nudged him, and Connie shivered as the warm touch transmuted itself through their bond. Rebecca moved away from her, and she stifled a burst of disappointment.

"I know what he knows," the daemon said, then yawned with a mouth full of pinprick teeth. "And right now I think I gotta sleep, too." Something in her body language seemed almost  _shy_ when she turned back to look at Connie. "Will you stay until morning?"

Connie glanced at Steven, asleep and trusting, always trusting, that she'd have his back-- at her daemon, hulking and antlered and a  _fighter_ when it counted, apparently-- and said, "I'm not going anywhere."

Rebecca made a pleased sound and settled back onto Steven's chest, then closed her eyes and started to purr. Bodhi moved closer to them both and settled his legs under him, leaning his head on Connie's shoulder. One of his antlers brushed against Connie's ear. 

The house was destroyed. They were staying at Connie's, waiting for the evacuated citizens to come back, and soon her parents would come back through the door and see them both. See the _four_ of them, and Bodhi tucking his long legs close beside her. "I'm glad you're this form," Connie said, because it had to be said. "I think it's really cool."

"Like Lisa and her daemon," Bodhi murmured. "Except he was a bird in the end, wasn't he?"

Connie shook her head. "Like Archimicarus and his," she corrected. Steven's chest rose and fell. "She might have been landlocked in the end, but-- she knew it was worth it. She always knew what they were fighting for."

"I can handle that." Bodhi leaned in close, and Connie scratched behind his ears, just next to the base of his antlers. They were long and wicked, smooth and naturally sharp, and they gleamed in the dim moonlight from the house's windows. They could cut her if she weren't careful.

Good. They'd never have to worry about being weaponless in the middle of a battle again. Connie gave a tired smile, and Bodhi rested beside her.

She didn't sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had given his daemon to her like it was nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teensy little addition bc I'm trying to fight writer's block.
> 
> If you see any grammar mistakes pls let me know.
> 
> Written at like 2 AM, so. There will probably be some.

After, Connie sat at the edge of a ready-made alien couch and tried to make her hands stop shaking. Pink Diamond's room felt like a prison to her still, for all that she'd barely spent any time there, and she couldn't shake the feeling that White Diamond was about to change her mind. That she would pull Steven apart again and make sure it stuck this time, and Connie would have to watch Rebecca dissipate into golden sand. 

Bodhi paced, tossing his head and scuffing the ground with his hooves. One of his antlers had a prong chipped off, but he didn't falter; he kept moving, flicking his ears every few seconds to check if Steven and Rebecca were still there and twitching at every sound. Connie could feel his nerves like a living thing, grabbing hold of her and saying,  _move, move, get on your feet._ She got the feeling she wouldn't get any sleep that night.

Eventually Steven rolled over in his sleeping bag and blinked, seeming to notice Bodhi's restlessness for the first time. He pulled himself upright and frowned. "Bodhi? Are you okay? It's getting kinda late."

"I'm just fine," the deer said shortly. "You should get to sleep, though, Steven. It's been a rough day."

"Well, yeah, but you were there, too." Bodhi shook himself out and kept pacing, and Steven turned the floodlight of his concern on Connie. "Connie, is- is something wrong? Did you get hurt in the battle? I know it was a lot, but I can still heal you if something's wrong. You don't have to wait until we get back to Earth."

Connie bit her lip and smiled without meaning to; Steven's concern felt like a warm blanket around her shoulders. It was a little silly, too; she would have told him if she were hurt, if only to assuage his fears. There was no reason to keep anything like that to herself when the battle was supposed to be over. It'd be smarter to be in top shape if something bad happened unexpectedly. "It's not that," she said. "I'm just a little shocked, is all."

_Shocked_ was a light word for it. She kept feeling a persistent warm tingling edging out from her palms, spreading through her arms like a wave and making her heart beat faster. A sort of intimate excitement, not  _visceral_ but spiritual, somehow like and unlike fusion. 

When White had taken Steven, Rebecca had run to Connie's hands. Amethyst had wrestled Bodhi to the ground and broken off part of his antler, Steven had been pulled apart and left to drag himself across the floor, and Rebecca had clung to Connie's shoulder all through it, even when she'd carried Steven across the room. She'd stayed as he swung himself around, as he laughed, as he  _fused-_

And then, as Steven had floated to the ground hugging himself, Rebecca had fallen back into Connie's hands and changed shape for the last time into a little golden gerbil, eyes deep and black and nose a bright button pink. She'd curled into Connie's hands with absolute trust, every touch of her tiny feet a warm needle stabbing into Connie's heart. She hadn't wanted to let go. But Steven had come back to her, and there had been so much to _do_ , so much Steven wanted to change...

She had ignored how unbalanced everything felt, that she'd held Rebecca but he hadn't touched Bodhi. But now they were supposed to rest, and tomorrow they could go home and see the rest of their families again. Tonight didn't need anything of them but sleep. 

Connie closed her eyes. Bodhi had been pushing the idea at her, and she didn't have any issues with it, but the last thing she wanted to do was make Steven uncomfortable. They weren't fused. This wasn't a life or death situation. 

But it was  _Steven._

Connie looked up and met his eyes, smiling helplessly at the warmth reflected back at her, and felt rather than saw Bodhi move closer, tentative like a nervous fawn. Rebecca wriggled out of Steven's hands as he approached, scrabbling up his legs to perch between his shoulder blades, and Steven looked startled when Bodhi stopped, well within arm's reach. Steven stared up at Connie with tears in his eyes. "Are you _sure_? I- Connie, I know it was a weird situation, but you don't  _owe_ me anything. You're my best friend. I don't want you to- to feel like you have to."

She didn't mean to, but she laughed. He looked so worried, like he thought she could ever be afraid of him. Like he thought there was anything she wasn't willing to give, anything part of her she didn't trust him with. They'd shared a _body._ She'd challenged an alien matriarch for him. How could there be any doubt? "Steven," Connie giggled, aching with fondness, "nothing with you has  _ever_ felt like an obligation. Of course I'm sure. I thought  _you_ weren't!"

His cheeks pinked. "Oh." He glanced at Bodhi, expression going tentative, and reached out a careful hand. "So I can...?"

"Go ahead," Bodhi rasped. He lowered his head, careful with his antlers, and Steven's hand settled between his eyes. Connie felt a burst of affection so strong she thought it must be leaking out of her, glowing through her skin- her forehead felt like it was burning in a  _good_ way, every nerve alight with joy. Steven stroked her daemon's face, eyes lit like he was amazed even to get the  _opportunity,_ and Connie reached down for Rebecca without really thinking, scooped her up as she approached. The little gerbil snuggled into her hands like she was shaped for it.

All the affection Connie felt magnified _,_ a sense of  _Steven_ passing into her deeper than words: his love, his kindness, his uncertainty, his legacy. All the things he hid and let show, all the little facets of his personality catching the light like corners of a diamond. It dazzled her, filled her with an adoration so intense it overflowed. She reached for Steven as he reached for her.

Stevonnie glowed into place, crying and grinning; Rebecca ran to skitter up to their shoulders as Bodhi settled at their feet, and the fusion drifted off with both daemons pressed up close, the circuit complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rebecca's a gerbil bc they're social, gentle, and apparently pretty hardy in the wild. Her nose is pinker than the average gerbil's, almost the same shade as Rose's hair or Pink Diamond's skin, and her fur is a rich, pale gold. I figured that Steven would have to have a mammal bc of basically everything about him, and that his nature wouldn't really be that of a fighter, even if he's trained as one. He just wants to hang out and make friends.


End file.
